April 4, 2013

armpit's attack

January 19, 2011

Green, pink and yellow..

One day in a language school in Australia.

Teacher: “All right, now I’d like you to make a sentence using the words GREEN, PINK and YELLOW. Who’d like to try?”

A student raised his hand. It was Kukoya from Japan.

Kukoya: “Early this morning, I looked out the window, I saw the GREEN grass and PINK roses in the garden. I went outside and I feel the warm YELLOW sunlight around me.”

Teacher: “Not bad. Okay, who’s next?”

Another student raised his hand. It was Ah Beng from Singapore.

Ah Beng: “I try! I try. Can aaah?”

Teacher: “No, no, not you!”

Ah Beng: “Aaaiiyaaa… let me try lah… I can do lah… you think I’m stupid meeh…?”

Teacher: “Okay… go ahead…”

Ah Beng: “This morning I heard the phone GREEEEEN… GREEEEEN… I PINK up and I said: YELLOOOOW?”

September 8, 2010

Ponder me Ponder

'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.

If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

The best vitamin for making friends..... B1.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.

You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.

If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Ideas won't work unless ' You' do.

Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!

It is never too late to become what you might have been. Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love the people who treat you right.. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both
hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late.

August 18, 2010

Two priests go to Hawaii on vacation.....

They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them
as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed
for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts,
shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their 'tourist' garb.
They were sitting on beach chairs,

enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a
'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a topless bikini
came walking straight towards them..
They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said
'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'
nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then she passed on by. They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store
and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,'
and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?' She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.