February 21, 2009
February 13, 2009
Nice Joke, good for time passing.. :D
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly. What do u think Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly. What do u think Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? "
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
February 4, 2009
Darwin's newest tourist attraction
How about this for a thrill seeking experience!!!!
The theme park's 'cage of death' that drops tourists into a crocodile's lair Without the cage you wouldn't stand a chance swimming with a massive saltwater crocodile.
But for brave punters who still want to get cosy with a feisty croc, a new Australian tourist attraction is offering the chance for a close in the safety of a clear acrylic box dubbed the 'cage of death. Just 4cm of acrylic, a pair of goggles and a swimsuit, will separate thrill-seekers from the jaws of Choppa, a saltwater crocodile.
Close encounter: A tourist dives into a cage partially immersed in a crocodile pen at Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin, Australia. The cage has no bars, unlike cages used in shark dives, which prevents the reptiles from gripping on but deep teeth scratches are visible on the sides, deterring some hesitant participants.
Top End tourists climb into the clear box before being lowered into Choppa's lair.
They then spend 15 minutes inside the 9ft high cage and watch Choppa, who lost both front feet while fighting other crocodiles, trying to take a bite out of them.
Getting cosy: Choppa the crocodile looks like he's 'affectionately' trying to hug the dare-devil tourist. The attraction at Crocosaurus Cove in the heart of the city of Darwin in the Northern Territory has been given high marks by adrenaline-junkies.
'This is it!' said self-confessed thrill-seeker Mark Clayton from Darwinafter spending 20 minutes face-to-face with the crocodiles.
'I dive with sharks, large rays, moray eels ... but it's not this close. It's exhilarating to get that close to a crocodile of that size.'
Face-to-face: The experience is made even more thrilling for tourists because the cage has no bars. Saltwater crocodiles, known locally as "salties," are the largest crocodile species, with the males growing up to 19.6ft long and weighing up to 2,204lbs. They are found in across Southeast Asia but the highest numbers are found in northern Australia. Michael Scott, who opened the attraction in July, said there was plenty of demand for the $85 thrill.
'In the Northern Territory, the saltwater crocodile is an icon and is part of our life. They are always in the news, either in someone's swimming pool or killing someone's favourite horse,' Mr Scott said.
Hunting for food: Up to two people are allowed in the cage at the one time. The most famous crocodile to be housed at the park is Burt, who starred as the beast that nearly ate Linda Koslowski's character in Crocodile Dundee. Although saltwater crocodiles are dangerous, fatal attacks on humans are rare in Australiawith only one or two reported a year. Warning signs are displayed at rivers, lake and beaches in areas inhabited by crocodiles.
Dicing with danger: Swimming face-to-face with a massive saltwater crocodile might not be everyone's idea of fun but thrill-seekers are snapping up Australia's newest tourist attraction. The most recent fatality was reported last month (1st October 2008) in Cooktown in far northQueensland when the suspected remains of a British man were found inside a crocodile. Arthur Booker, 62, was last seen checking crab pots on a crocodile-infested river in the state's north.
The theme park's 'cage of death' that drops tourists into a crocodile's lair Without the cage you wouldn't stand a chance swimming with a massive saltwater crocodile.
But for brave punters who still want to get cosy with a feisty croc, a new Australian tourist attraction is offering the chance for a close in the safety of a clear acrylic box dubbed the 'cage of death. Just 4cm of acrylic, a pair of goggles and a swimsuit, will separate thrill-seekers from the jaws of Choppa, a saltwater crocodile.
Close encounter: A tourist dives into a cage partially immersed in a crocodile pen at Crocosaurus Cove in Darwin, Australia. The cage has no bars, unlike cages used in shark dives, which prevents the reptiles from gripping on but deep teeth scratches are visible on the sides, deterring some hesitant participants.
Top End tourists climb into the clear box before being lowered into Choppa's lair.
They then spend 15 minutes inside the 9ft high cage and watch Choppa, who lost both front feet while fighting other crocodiles, trying to take a bite out of them.
Getting cosy: Choppa the crocodile looks like he's 'affectionately' trying to hug the dare-devil tourist. The attraction at Crocosaurus Cove in the heart of the city of Darwin in the Northern Territory has been given high marks by adrenaline-junkies.
'This is it!' said self-confessed thrill-seeker Mark Clayton from Darwinafter spending 20 minutes face-to-face with the crocodiles.
'I dive with sharks, large rays, moray eels ... but it's not this close. It's exhilarating to get that close to a crocodile of that size.'
Face-to-face: The experience is made even more thrilling for tourists because the cage has no bars. Saltwater crocodiles, known locally as "salties," are the largest crocodile species, with the males growing up to 19.6ft long and weighing up to 2,204lbs. They are found in across Southeast Asia but the highest numbers are found in northern Australia. Michael Scott, who opened the attraction in July, said there was plenty of demand for the $85 thrill.
'In the Northern Territory, the saltwater crocodile is an icon and is part of our life. They are always in the news, either in someone's swimming pool or killing someone's favourite horse,' Mr Scott said.
Hunting for food: Up to two people are allowed in the cage at the one time. The most famous crocodile to be housed at the park is Burt, who starred as the beast that nearly ate Linda Koslowski's character in Crocodile Dundee. Although saltwater crocodiles are dangerous, fatal attacks on humans are rare in Australiawith only one or two reported a year. Warning signs are displayed at rivers, lake and beaches in areas inhabited by crocodiles.
Dicing with danger: Swimming face-to-face with a massive saltwater crocodile might not be everyone's idea of fun but thrill-seekers are snapping up Australia's newest tourist attraction. The most recent fatality was reported last month (1st October 2008) in Cooktown in far northQueensland when the suspected remains of a British man were found inside a crocodile. Arthur Booker, 62, was last seen checking crab pots on a crocodile-infested river in the state's north.
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